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Dating in Denmark: Get Drunk and Find Your True Love

My thought was to begin with the Greenland School System. Here a naked man is appraised by a female journalist and sexologist. SOFIA FROMBERG: I think it is important we give another picture of what women really looks like. This program, we show what really beautiful women looks like.

We need that craziness. FEMALE REPORTER: What kind of things did they say?

Dating in Denmark: Get Drunk and Find Your True Love - STEN HEGELER Translation : It's almost always the breasts.

This essay is from a series I wrote in co-operation with the Danish tabloid BT in 2003, shortly after I arrived in Denmark. The line drawings are my own. On my very first night in Copenhagen, I went with an American girlfriend to a downtown discotheque. We sat at a table roughly the size of a pizza. Three men sat across from us, a distance of approximately 25 centimeters. I think Zulus or spacemen would have found some way to communicate with us, but this was apparently beyond the capability of three well-educated Danes. Finally, fortified by gin and tonics, we spoke to them first, and they turned out to be nice guys. But that was a lucky night: Since moving here, I have been to many a discoteque where women shake their booty with their girfriends for hours while men watch with pretend disinterest from the sidelines, their eyes radiating invisible beams of desire: Please, miss, ask me to dance. Dating in Denmark How do Danish men and women meet each other? I know it happens; the streets are full of Danish babies. For one thing, Danish people seem to think that talking to strangers is uncouth. What men want of course, is the same thing that has produced a world population currently approaching 7 billion. Yet you see Danish men and women in parks in the summer, sitting alone on blankets, or in cafes in the winter surrounded by their buddies or girlfriends with their hair carefully gelled, lonely and horny but contemptous of anyone who dares to approach. Extreme drunkenness is socially acceptable The icebreaker of course, is alcohol, and I have little doubt that if it vanished from the Earth tomorrow Danes would never reproduce. Extreme drunkeness seems to be the accepted way to meet that special someone, as explained to me in the days when I still was seeking a Danish boyfriend. Then in the morning you decide if you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. One-night stands certainly take place in the US, but it is something unusual and embarassing, like making a lot of money in Denmark. What do we tell the kids? Here, drunken sex with a complete stranger seems to be the hopeful prelude to a serious relationship, possibly marriage. If children result from this, it is hard to imagine what their parents tell them about the night Mom and Dad first met. Which leads me back to dancing. Here is what I have learned: in Denmark, it is bad manners to ask a girl to dance, but it is good manners to get very drunk, make sure she is drunk too, and ask her to come back to your place. She will quite likely say yes, if only in a misguided audition for the role of girlfriend, leaving you both a little sad and bitter the next morning. Long ago, before I ever thought of living here, a Danish woman told me that her country was a place with a lot of sex but not very much love. Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on and on. Get the for more tips on finding a job in Denmark, succeeding at work, and understanding your Danish boss. It can be ordered via Amazon or Saxo. You can also book a with Kay for your school, company, or professional organization. Want to read more? Try the , available in paperback or eBook editions, and in English, Chinese, and Arabic. If you represent a company or organization, you can also book Kay Xander Mellish to stage a How to Live in Denmark tailored for you, including the popular. Kay stages occasional free public events too. Follow our to keep informed. I spent a month and a half traveling through Europe last summer and Denmark was one of my stops. I can very much say this is how it appeared to me while I was there. Even when walking down the street people in general avoid making eye contact. A Danish girl I met told me basically the exact same thing when I asked her about this. We kept in touch and met in jamaica for vacation. Every time strangers would try to talk to us, she felt kinda uncomfortable as they are not used to that. Overall Denmark was my favorite place to visit and Copenhagen is just amazing. I would go back there for sure whenever I get the chance. I miss not feeling short, and now know how it must feel to be 174cm 4cm below average back home. Other students from the schools are arranging the bar tours. I think they ought to come up with some healthy alternatives instead and show them the right way. He is only eating healthy food — no soda, cookies etc. But it takes a strong person to say no. It is very hard making friends when you do say no — and that worries me too. But I think that things are about to change here in Denmark because a lot of things are changing in our society right now. May be you could teach us some alternatives — that would be very nice. But we are tought that we should be carefull to strangers because of rape, violence, murders and so on.. These are some of the thoughts i often hear. Men are seen as the predatory figure, and therefore when a man approaches a woman, they often get defensive. So many believe that it is up to the woman to initiate contact. Also, marriage is becoming less common here: people tend to form non-married partnerships, in which they remain together and unmarried even after having several children. Yes, I met many Zulus during a trip to South Africa, and have read some basic Zulu history. The story suggests that the Zulus would have been more communicative than Danes which — in my limited experience — they were. Danes are not good at chatting up people they do not know. Kay Xander Mellish has lived in Denmark for more than a decade.

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But it takes a strong person to say no. Until now, Danes knew Thomas Blachman as an award-winning jazz musician and as the 'X-Factor' judge that audiences loved or hated. And I can tell you now, most of them will not immediately reject you because you have a sincere skin color. I miss not feeling short, and now know how it must feel to be 174cm 4cm below average back home. Only four percent of Danish women say that they hit the beach topless always or most of the time. We talk and write each other north with lots in common. Kay Xander Mellish has lived in Denmark for more than a decade. FRIEND Translation : I think he is ridiculous. Danish naked dating this Swedish TV show, guests accused the program of setting back the cause of women's rights. Do some reconnaissance first, anon do some shopping. He is only eating healthy food — no soda, cookies etc.